Where Are You Now?!?!?

Why did you leave me when I
Was young?!?! You claim your
A man but yet you walked out
On your own responsibility, to
Take care of your daughter and
To provide a special bond, a bond
Created between two not meant
To be broken, but when I think of
How much you missed out on me
Growing up into a beautiful young
Lady I stop to question, why was
My mother and I not worthy enough
For you to even continue to stay???

Why couldn't you stick around to
Show me the love that all father's
Are suppose to show all daughters?
The more I question or beat myself
Up for your ignorant decision the more
I hate you for now making it hard for
Me to welcome any male who tries to
Step foot in my life, but this shows you
Never loved me like you claim to because
Love is not a virus that infects you but a
Choice, you've made your decision almost
18 years ago but yet you stole my very 
Own opportunity to make a one but left
It to be thrown in a forgotten creek as
If I was never meant to be apart of your
Family, when I lost you as my Father

I somehow then lost a part of me, but
When trying to be free from all emotions
You've stored inside of me is all I ever
Need, my mother would remind me that
I am "A unique antique" when I go to sleep
I sometimes dream of you handling a gun
At my heart, ready to pull the trigger to
Forget that I was even born.....it's time
You understand what you left behind is
Worth more than the ashes in your heart
So as I continue to face the trails in this
World and continue my own horizon with
The broken pieces that you have created

To form a beautiful picture left to be with
Undefeat always learning to discover her
Own individual path but I thank you for
Allowing me to know I can make it on
My own without any help from a man but
The little girl inside of me still cries out
For her father to come rescue her from
What scares her but yet she's hoping and Praying that he'll soon return......